Article #5 - Ignore Him or Stress

100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never Leave You

René Delain – Relationship Coach

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  #5 – Ignore Him or Stress

So what makes you think you can change a habit of a lifetime?

Annoying traits a partner has can contribute to major negative emotions and cause great stress to you.  Though this is an unconscious action, it can, when pointed out cause great embarrassment and defensiveness.  It can also lead your partner to discount all the positives about the relationship.  

Ignore habits

Only you can assess what annoying or infuriating habit you can deal with.  If it’s very extreme then maybe this relationship isn’t for you.  Though something like leaving the toilet seat up or bad eating habits may be perceived as a simple matter, point out in a delicate way that its not nice to be on the receiving end, because if you nag and annoy him about it he may deliberately do it to infuriate you.  Also, ignoring his irritating habits, except giving occasional praise about him refraining from the particular habit may eventually entice him to make the effort to stop.  Don’t make it your mission to get him to conform as he has to want to change for his own reason.

Ignore him

Always being available will mean that you may be taken for granted and generally not fully appreciated by your man. Yes you want to spend time with him but always being available at the end of the phone or meeting him when he decides he wants you does not give him the chance to continue to desire you. I am not saying stop doing all the things you did whilst courting. But if you feel he isn’t paying you appropriate attention as he may be engrossed in his own interests or appear irritated by your presence then get out of his radar and focus on yourself.  Also if you continue to pursue your own interests (even if you are in the same space) and not include him all the time he is likely to wonder why and also think of ways to grab your attention.

Ignore criticism 

Though you may not experience adoration everyday being criticised by your partner can make you feel terrible. The first thing to remember is that you may not be the cause.  As you are the closest person to him unfortunately you are the one receiving the backlash from other issues that may be troubling him.  This may be his learned behaviour of dealing with i.e. stress about finances or work and any other insecurity about areas of his life.   The problem is him and if you can highlight to him that he offended you and ask if he wishes to discuss what’s really troubling him, he may be more conscious of unintentionally criticising you in the future.

Ignore and progress

Focussing on the negatives of the relationship will breed resentment in you and you won’t be able to appreciate the positives that have developed your good relationship.  Concentrate on being loving and supportive regardless of his manners but don’t be a doormat.

His habits have been with him for a long time and so can be hard to break.  Remember they are not a reflection on you so don’t internalise them and make them an issue.  Where possible. Ignore it.

Rene Delain, Relationship Coach has created a serious of articles titled ‘100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never Leave You’.

You can find Rene on Facebook: Relationship Coach - Rene Delain https://www.facebook.com/datingandrelationshipminefield Linkedin and Twitter: @ReneDelain

Or for coaching email renedelain@gmail.com. 

Article #4 - Be Generous With Your Trust

 

100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never Leave You 

René Delain – Relationship Coach

 Published fortnightly

 # 4 – Be Generous With Your Trust

‘Clinging to him and ringing him every half hour is likely to make him run away, rather than run to you’. 

Initially when you and your partner meet there is a lot of desire, you both want to be with each other all the time, and you each know the whereabouts of the other person because you can’t wait to connect again.  But as routines settle and the reality of everyday life becomes evident, being accountable for every move can become a bit suffocating and put a strain on the relationship.

Questions, questions

If you find yourself constantly questioning his whereabouts, then the question you really should be asking is about yourself and your own possible insecurities.  Why do I need to know?  What is it I am trying of finding out?  What is it about me that is fuelling my behaviour?

Men and phone calls

Men don’t usually talk and gossip about trivialities on the phone like some women.  They use the phone as a means of finding out, negotiating or delivering information.  When you feel the need to contact him ask yourself, ‘how will he receive this call?’  ‘Is it the right time?’ Remember, if your man is more practically minded he will often expect a constructive reason for you calling him.  I am not saying that it is not okay to connect but be considerate.  He may be busy.  If you really feel the need to pick up the phone for a chat, you may be better received if you ring a girlfriend.

Loving yourself

Being in love can be fabulous and if you are comfortable with yourself then your partner will feel settled.  He chose you and wants to be with you, he won’t start to question his decision if he starts to feel stressed and made accountable for his moves.  Do things that you enjoy and be responsible for your own fulfilment so that when you connect with your partner it will be a bonus.

René Delain, Relationship Coach has created a series of articles titled ‘100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never Leave You’.  Published fortnightly.  Past articles can be found on her blog at www.renedelain.blogspot.com.

You can also find René on Facebook: Relationship Coach - Rene Delain https://www.facebook.com/datingandrelationshipminefieldand Twitter: @ReneDelain