100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never
Leave You
René Delain – Relationship Coach
Published fortnightly.
#3 – For Appearance Sake
Stock images
‘Be the
Trophy Worth Having’ - "Why
go out for a hamburger when you have steak at home?” Paul Newman.
Society, culture
and environment influence greatly what is perceived as the ‘norm’ when it comes
to appearances. This programs most men
that they must have an attractive woman. It builds their ego looking good to
their peers, giving them a sense of power. From a very early age they work hard
to fit social stereotypes so
that when they have succeeded in their ‘mission’ they feel worthy to claim that
prized woman. Women have also, consciously or unconsciously, been in training
all their lives to have the qualities worthy of the best suitor.
Comfort
vs. Charisma
Think about how you
looked when your man first met you. Has this
changed? Do you make the effort to look
like that again or can you surprise him by improving? As he gets to know you better
will your everyday appearance matter less as he has got to know your ‘inner
beauty’? Will your good qualities like
personality, interests, security shine through? Or if you develop a continuous ‘comfortable’
look, are his eyes likely to start to wander, be distracted from the reason he
is with you.
Whilst you are
making the effort to strengthen your relationship you should not let your
standards of appearance drop. If you
feel your man needs to tidy himself up or exercise, let him know in a subtle
way. Rather than telling him directly
which he may take offence to, you can ‘catch him doing good’ and praise him for
going for that run or even tell him how sexy he looks in that outfit. Men also have insecurities about their
appearance and positive reinforcement like this will motivate him to continue
to make the effort to look good.
Public
Perception
Television and
media have a great influence on what
is considered to be a good look. When
your man came looking for you he was seeking a certain criteria ‘his look’, so
respect his desire to continue to have the picture that he envisaged as his
woman, within reason.
Surprisingly,
men are generally more
sensitive to what other people think of their partner than women are. This can
come across to you as him having ‘double standards’ which unfortunately is a
powerful element of the male competitive nature. You may have used that little sexy revealing dress
to initially catch his eye, but now that you are together he wants you to be
‘admired’ but not ‘lusted’ after
(keep that for the bedroom). Also how
you conduct yourself, mannerisms and self-respect count. Keep him up to date with the latest fashion
and be assertive but not aggressive in upholding your right to look good for
him.
Men
rarely share intimate details to the level that women do, they absolutely fear
public exposure of perceived weakness.
It would be a huge understatement to say he won’t appreciate it if you
let slip personal details that only both of you share, e.g. discussing his
embarrassing medical condition, or discussing his finances in public. Remember he probably hasn’t mastered the art,
like most women have, of expressing personal feelings; and acting accordingly. By being aware, it will help you avoid the
shock and upset you will both feel when he reacts badly to certain public
displays.
Way
Forward
Now there will
always be a woman out there that will look good and attract your man’s eye,
it’s only natural. What you have to
nurture is the personal security you get from knowing how your ‘look’ arouses your
man. And use your inside knowledge of
him to make sure it doesn’t matter if he does look at her, as he will always
prefer you.
In the end the main
priority is you wanting to look after your appearance for yourself. No one has the ability to look fabulous all
the time but you can find a happy medium and be appropriate most of the time
and irresistible when the occasion requires it. Feel confident
in your appearance, your man will sense this and in turn this confidence will
project in to other areas of your relationship making your life together more
secure and happy.
Your man has worked
extremely hard to be worthy of you ‘his trophy’, but remember he is now also
your prize so don’t let him get away.
Be Fabulous x
René Delain, Relationship Coach has created
a series of articles
titled ‘100 Ways To Make Sure Your Man Will Never Leave You’. Published fortnightly.
You can also find René on Facebook:
Relationship Coach - Rene Delain https://www.facebook.com/datingandrelationshipminefield
and Twitter: @ReneDelain
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